Pick Me Up: On My Way Weigh Down
James Akenson
Pick Me Up On Your Way Down is one fine Harlan Howard song. It’s been covered by lots of artists since it went to No. 2 on the Country Music charts in 1958. But we won’t be focusing on it since it’s not exactly the Pick Me Up theme we’ll deal with in this Country Underground Australia ditty. Pick Me Up On Your Way Down deals with the break-up of an existing relationship.
We’ll deal with trying to establish relationships instead. It’s not always easy to do for lots of blokes and blokettes no matter their age. Yes. Some people are better at it than others be it at church or in a pub. Got to be honest. Got to face facts. As a young straight male in high school and college I wasn’t very good meeting chicks and establishing relationships short or long term.
Since it was the late 1950s and early 1960s and the sexual revolution was under way it is doubling embarrassing to admit that I wasn’t doing great with the women. It just might be that I had to be satisfied with committing the supposed sin of lust. Lust is supposed to be as bad as actually doing it. Maybe yes. Maybe no. But even President Jimmy Carter, a really good Baptist admitted to lust while married no less.
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28
Of course, being from a conservative Baptist Evangelical Protestant family just meant that I could feel some guilt, but I could pray for forgiveness. So being socially awkward and Christ Haunted….as my Sacred and Profane Country Music expert friend Randy Williams likes to call it…I can’t regale people with confessions of Woodstock like excess. This, mind you, happened outside the Bible Belt in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Just think how Christ Haunted I could have been had I grown up in the Bible Belt?!
What might have helped my dilemma? One aspect can be found in Country Music. This is after-all Country Underground Australia so let’s get to the Country Music connection. Country Music deals with love and lust. Just take a look at Professor Jimmie Rogers The Country Music Message for statistical proof. He did a statistical analysis long before the words Data Base came into everyday usage. Love was above all else the most common topic.
Assuming that I had the looks, the clothes, the confidence, the hair, and the car….. what in Country Music might have helped me? Very simple….effective pick-up lines. Better yet let’s term them Conversation Starters. Pick-up lines are well known, but really don’t quite sound effective except when presented humorously in conversations about Country Music songs. At least they wouldn’t have worked for me! I always remember The Bellamy Brothers classic line If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold it Against Me
There are lots of articles on pick-up lines in Country Music. Where does the Bellamy Brothers line rate according to The boot.com? It’s funny. It’s clever but The Boot’s Number 4 line Are you from Tennessee/Cause baby, you’re the only 10 I see” would be a loser for me back then. Even Number 3 a Hank Williams quote Hey Good Lookin’/Whatcha got cookin’? How about cookin’ somethin’ up with me? wouldn’t be reasonable. And Number 2 from Brad Paisley I’d like to check you for ticks is very clever, but I certainly couldn’t have been successful with it. Yes. The Bellamy Brothers do come in with the number one pick up line according to The Boot.
Redneck Couture lists lots of Country Music pick up lines, but doesn’t rank them. Some don’t seem like true opening lines to me. Conway Twitty’s Oh darlin, how I’d love to lay you down seems a poor choice since it’s all about his love for his wife of many years. Are you gonna kiss me or not? By Thomson Square really is about a couple who have already met. They’re ready to move forward yet it’s awkward. Josh Turner’s Baby lock your door and turn the lights down low” also describes a relationship that is beyond the conversation starter stage.
Even Luke Bryan’s Hey I’m a little drunk on you and high on summertime means they’re at least past the initial What’s your name stage by at least a few minutes. And How do you get in those jeans, baby? And tell me how do I wouldn’t have worked for me although it certainly reflects the thoughts lots of males have in mind. No doubt women think similar things… gender equality rules here at Country Underground Australia!
There are loads of other articles offering their take on great pick-up lines, but you get the idea. I would never have dared to use them years ago, nor would I have been successful. Yes, many of these pick-up lines were clever and funny, but they’re probably in the realm of fantasy land for lots of folks besides myself.
So let’s shift a bit to something that might have worked for me. Just getting a simple, surface level conversation started, and continuing would be a good objective. Now then, Chris Lane’s I Don’t Know About You shows me some possibilities of things I might could have said to break-the-ice, start a simple, yet shallow conversation that might lead to some involvement. No use here to think in terms of discussing Gallipoli, the Battle of Hastings, The Battle of Long Tan or philosophers like Kant or Sartre. Gotta keep it simple to connect.
I like Chris Lane’s simple questions asking What’s your name? What’s your sign? What’s your birthday? and What’s that Bible verse tattooed on your wrist say? Those are simple, easy to remember, and basic questions that open the door to simple chit-chat. Chris Lane also mentioned a couple of other things to ask about. I think What’s your dream job? is good. Where’s your home town? Is even better.
The home town question could even work for the senior citizen fifty-five and over crowd back in a partner-less life thanks to divorce or death. And….there IS a new reality dating show…think The Batchelor and The Batchelorettefor senior citizens in the works! Will they dispense The Little Blue Pill?
There’s also something fascinating about Chris Lane, his video, and the lyrics of I Don’t Know About You. The video shows a country pub with beer, pool, a U.S. flag, white strings of lights, a dart board, neon signs, driving nails in a log outside the pub, and a protective father in his sheriff car interrupting and taking Chris Lane’s love interest home.
No hook-up this time! They all add an authentic touch to the video at the same time that the tempo of the song reflects the recent…..sometimes despised by Country Music traditionalists and no doubt John Williamson would agree…. trend to include hip-hop sounding wording, melody, and rhythm.
The lyrics of I Really Don’t Know About You reflect age old questions about male-female relationships. How do you meet someone and connect? We won’t worry about a hook-up here although the video shows an interest. Both the video and the lyrics reflect long term themes in Country Music. Romantic relationships continue to fascinate the Country Music audience. Country Music continues to think about small town roots. Country Music continues to think about alcohol. Country Music continues to think about Conservative Evangelical Protestant religion.
The single most important thing in the lyrics of I Don’t Know About You asks What’s your wrist tattoo Bible verse say? Right there I Don’t Know About You plops it right into Conservative Evangelical Protestant culture deeply tied into the history and current status of Country Music in the U.S.
A Bible verse means the young woman has grown up going to church on Sunday, thinks the Bible is important, believes the Bible enough to endure the pain of a tattoo, and wants to share her belief….wants to be a witness and testify to her faith. After all, she heard in Sunday School and in the Sunday Sermon that Christians should go ye into all the world and preach the gospel. She no doubt sang songs that proclaim This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine or The B-I-B-L-E yes that’s the book for me.
How clever of the songwriter! One reference to the Bible and all the recent changes traditionalists don’t like about the current Country Music scene can be over looked. The male narrator’s female love interest loves Jesus. She’s saved. She’s born again. She may be out drinking beer Saturday night, but she’s in church on Sunday. It’s the Sacred and the Profane, the Heaven and Hell, split personality thing, that my friend Randy Williams loves about Country Music. It’s alive today and goes back to its earliest roots.
There’s another current song by Jimmie Allen Make Me Want To that is a bit more let’s leave this pub together. But it does offer some help for conversation starters. What’s your name. What’s your dream. What’s your favorite song. The video …take a look….mutes the pub scene lyrics a touch with a magic wand provided by a mysterious, disappearing older female sorceress, changes the pub into a juice bar, then an art museum scene, and kisses in the rain with an attractive beret wearing, miniskirt and turtle neck clad wholesome female. The questions Jimmie Allen asks the young woman are simple, ‘doable’ and I could have used them years ago.
All in all I could have well used some social skills in meeting even the most wholesome….my mother LOVED that word and it makes me cringe a tad….girl. Ooooops…. Make that nice girl… another term my mother loved in all it’s implications. In reality, I wouldn’t have wanted the bar and party scene. Too much Baptist upbringing. Too much guilt….also part of the Sacred and Profane in Country Music.
Long haul…. Dillon Carmichael’s I Do For You shows that I expected similar positive things like conventional marriage. And…Thomas Rhett’s admonition Remember when you pull her close to leave some room for Jesus wouldn’t have been a problem particularly if she could be like Hannah Brown on ABC’s The Bachelorette reality telly dating program. It would have been the best of all possible worlds. It would be the Sacred and Profane all over again.
There you have it. Once again Country Music provides answers to most every problem in life. Meeting people, starting conversations, and keeping things going so you can explore possibilities for some commitment aren’t easy. Just look at Flirty Dancing, Half the contestants don’t get a chance to continue the relationship after the wordless flirty dance is over. And….only some of the flirty dancer relationships work out for very long.
The beat goes on with social media from Tinder to OKCupid or even EHarmony for older and more conservative tastes. It ain’t easy these days to meet folks. Forget arranged marriages or even meeting someone in church…although I met LP (Life Partner) Mickie at First Baptist in Athens, Georgia long ago. So, when you do meet someone, Country Music can give you some openers, some simple conversation starters, that might be useful. Keep it country, y’all!
